Olives and Wine
by Aries Arisen
Summary: Your name is Kanaya Maryam and you are now a rainbow-drinker. For whatever reason, you have found yourself among humans, and have begun to adapt. Perhaps we will learn later of your reasons, but for right now, what will you do?
1. Chapter 1

Night has long since fallen, and on this new and unfamiliar planet, it is the only time you feel safe to feed. This expanse of woods just outside a rural area had become sort of like your territory, and in it you can find beasts to gain your sustenance without regrets, though the actual nutrition they offer is very slim. You would have to find two or three larger beasts just to gain your fill and perhaps it will sustain you for another week.

It is only on rare occasions, perhaps one or two calender months between times that you would find a human out for whatever reason, camping, or gathering lumber, what have you. It was then that you would easily plant the suggestion in their mind to sleep, rest, for just a while. Though you never had much psychic ability when you were living as a normal troll, that all changed with what you became. Your ability of manipulation was much like Vriska's when it came to humans, though you suspected with was a natural ability for rainbow-drinkers to subdue prey in a timely manner.

Whatever the case, sleep would come for them, and then you would finally have a good meal. Before retreating and leaving them to wake peaceably, you would, of course, bandage their wound. You were, after all, a helpful woman. Though human blood would have been the lowest of the low, had they been on Alternia, it was still a far better cry from the weak and often unpleasant taste of animal's blood. A human's blood was of much richer quality, and for that, she was thankful, though the fleeting taste of another troll's rainbow hue still haunted your mind. It was like the memory of ambrosia, the food of the gods, after surviving only of bread and water for your whole life.

Even so, you could not bear the thought of encountering another of your kind, not as you were now. You had not encountered your other friends for too long, so long that you had even lost track of time. How long had it been? A sweep, at least. A sweep since you had seen them, since you had been turned. They must think you dead, otherwise… You wouldn't want them searching for you, you wouldn't want them to either never find you, or worse, actually succeed in locating a monster.

Without the luck of encountering any humans in the area, you sigh just somewhat wistfully, and begin your retreat back to your hive- err, home. Your business was done, and you had no reason to linger here. Thoughts of many kinds were troubling your mind, and you felt the pain of a headache coming on. What cruel twist of fate was it that rainbow-drinkers, who had no need for nutrition other than blood, could still have the capacity to acquire splitting headaches? It was good that the trek back to your home would be short.

It was a rather ramshackle place, an old farmhouse that had been falling apart. You payed for it very discreetly, even though the minds (and paperwork) of humans was quite easy to influence. You suppose your life was a quiet one. You spend most of your time in solitude, however there are times when you absolutely must venture out into civilization, and it's those times that you don't envy. You fashion a headband to your precious horns, and apply makeup that will offset the glow of your skin that flickered like the screen of a computer, though it didn't quite cover up your deathly paleness. It is a crude disguise, giving the look of a costume to something entirely real, but luckily, humans have a rather tricky habit of seeing and believing what they want to.

They think you odd and eccentric as you venture nervously into the stores, but eccentric and nothing more than that. They believe you are one of them, a young woman who just has a strange habit of dressing up as a demon, or a vampire, really you've heard all sorts of things that people try to guess. Only one time has the word "troll" ever slipped from someone's lips, a small boy of about seven. Your heart just about jumped into your throat at that, and all you could do was stammer like a fool. However, he then proceeded to ask her if she hung around bridges or ate goats, until his mother shooed him away, and you were able to relax then. No, no, although the latter part may be true. You don't think you've ever partaken of a goat, whatever a goat was. After the incident, you simply continued buying things you need. Only the necessities, you had to remind yourself often, even while staring down a brand new sewing machine that was just begging for you to take it home.

Yes, you don't particularly enjoy your time among normal humans, however, it isn't totally unpleasant. With a sigh, you recall that tomorrow may be one of those days, since you are running low on fabrics and snacks. What? A rainbow-drinker couldn't enjoy the occasional bag of Cheetos once in a while? You might be one of the undead, and you may have no specific need for it, but snacks were a nice way of retaining at least a small semblance of… normalcy in your life. Goodness knows that you could use a bit more of that.


	2. Chapter 2

Night.  
>The sun has just set, and you know that you are starving yourself.<br>The source of fresh blood is so sparse, you have not been able to venture out for days. You can feel your thirst growing by the minute, your fangs call for flesh to pierce, you tongue longs for the sweet taste of the only thing that can sustain you.  
>But you can't move. You have no ability to even find a way.<br>Instead, you distract yourself from the need, from the physical ache, by retreating into your memories. You close your eyes and simply remember the faces of your friends. The start of that awful game. First contact with the humans. The Scratch, the feeling of the world ripping apart at the seams and being made whole again. Becoming separated, scattered, with no communication of the others. The feel of a knife piercing through your flesh, feeling yourself being drained of life, the faint sound of a honk. Death, seeming so final, and then not so final after all. Awakening with a burning thirst, ache, need, needneedneed… How disgusted your friends would be if they could see you now. How pathetic you are. Unable to move a muscle and sate your terrifying hunger.  
>Your eyes fly open, and a muffled whimper escapes your gritted teeth. Now isn't the time for this. This is definitely the last thing you need right now.<p>

= = =  
>Your name is Gamzee Makara, and you don't know why, but the voices that had been hounding you to find someone to play with, to torture and kill - well they didn't vanish, but their volume lowered until you could hear yourself think again. It was an immense relief. You wander the night, not sure what you're looking for, not sure of what you'll find. You think about Kanaya, but not the one with a matesprit that you'd been serenading for giggles. No, you think back to your leader. She'd been the last one of you all to die, but she hadn't God Tiered like the rest of you. The last time you'd seen her, she'd just been dead. You'd spent the remainder of your time since the scattering wondering what it would have been like if you had managed to rein yourself in before doing the unthinkable. You hear a muffled sound, like a whimper, and you go to investigate. You're not sure what you'll do when you find the source of the sound, but you had nothing better to do than look for it. You come across something that surprises you, scares you with the intense feelings of disbelief and fear and maybe even a bit of hope that it gives you.<br>"KaNaYa?"

= = =  
>It was a voice you couldn't mistake even if you wanted to. You knew that, and at first, you thought it just a figment of your imagination, and manifestation of how deluded this hunger has made you. There was no way, absolutely no way.<br>And yet…  
>Your gaze flickers to what waited in front of you, traveled up the length of those lazy pajama pants, to the indigo sign you knew was coming, to the familiar face with those awful scars that sent a pang through your chest. It couldn't be true. What in the world was he doing here? You thought the last time you'd ever see him was the scene of him standing over your corpse. He'd matured a lot since the last time, his eyes looked to be a dark amethyst and his hair was still tangled and matted. It hurt to see him again. You felt no fear or anger, just a gaping chasm of sadness deep within your chest.<br>"Gamzee…"  
>You hate that your voice sounds so weak, so frail, and you despise the way it betrays your emotions. There was no going back now. You couldn't make your body move, whether it was away from him, or toward him.<br>= = =

You stare in shock. This was no timeline alternate or whatever shenanigans paradox space had set up in its infinite cosmic bullshit. This was your Kanaya. Your leader and the only one that never looked at you with anger or hate for the things you had done. Your chest filled with pain as you look down at her - pain and pity. You kneel before her, your eyes roaming over her to check for damage.  
>KaNaYa, HoW? wHaT's HaPpEnEd To YoU?<br>=== You pick her up gently. She feels so light that it worries you. She'd grown and matured since you'd - since the last time you'd seen her, but it hurts you to see her the way she is right now.

= = =  
>You see him bend down in order to take you into his arms, but you shy away from him. Or rather, you would. Curse it, curse it all… His touch is warm where yours is cold, and you close your eyes. How in the world was he able to find you in such a wretched state?<br>He was so close, and for all that you tried to ignore it, the life running through his veins sang such a tempting melody that, though try your damnedest, you could not tune out. The hunger you've fought so hard to disregard flared up again with a vengeance so swift, you drew a sharp breath. It was the scent of wild berries and electricity humming through the air, unpredictable and dangerous. You wanted it. You wanting so badly to bite down and taste what that aroma could not give you: strength. Though the scent invigorated you and brought you to your senses, you still could not do much more than squirm in his grasp like a petulant child. The thought that you actually wanted to… to… It was terrifying, and you had never felt so much like a beast before this.  
>"It's Nothing To Concern Yourself With. Just Let Me Down And Walk Away, Gamzee. It's The Best Thing You Could Do Right Now."<br>You dearly hoped hat your words would not betray you this time…

= = =  
>You look at her there in your arms, barely able to squirm, and you shake your head. She couldn't even avoid you picking her up, much less walk on her own.<br>KaNaYa, I'lL cOnCeRn MySeLf WiTh WhAt I pLeAsE. nOw WhAt'S hApPeNeD aNd HoW cAn I hElP?  
>You wonder just what had brought her to this point. You turn and start walking. You're going to carry her to your hive and care for her until she's well again. You can't stand to see her like this, and all you want is to make her better again.<p>

= = =  
>You realize that there really will be no way to avoid this. He's too damned stubborn, and you couldn't reason with him to let you go. The only way was to regain your ability to move, and the only way that was happening would be if you had a way to consume blood. That was all there was to it. You would have to reveal your transformation into something terrible. All the way to his hive, you don't say another word about it, simply wondering how to just come out and say 'Actually, what I really need is to suck your body dry like a grape juice box.'<br>Yes, that would go over just wonderfully.  
>With something like a heavy sigh, you give your head a small shake and rest your cheek against his chest. There was no sense in struggling.<p>

= = =  
>You smile a little to yourself when she gives in and rests against your chest. You would never have dared do this when the two of you were younger, but now you could overpower a great many people and trolls. You can't believe how much you missed her - or how happy you are to see her again. You worry what will happen once the voices return to their former volume. You make it back to your hive without trouble and in near silence. You shift your hold on Kanaya so that you can open the door, but you don't put her down until you reach the seating area and lay her down on the couch. You decide to make her comfortable before asking her again what happened.<br>"CaN i GeT yOu SoMeThInG tO eAt Or DrInK? dO yOu NeEd A pIlLoW oR bLanKeT?"

= = =  
>Finally, when you make it to his hive and he sets you down, you can breathe easily without being overwhelmed by the scent of him. You barely hear his questions, but make a small sound of agreement. Though you need nothing to eat or drink, if it would distance you from the need to sink your fangs into his neck, it would have to do.<br>"A Blanket Please…"  
>You take the time to look around what you can see of his hive, not noticing if he'd left or not, trying to familiarize yourself with this place. You'd only been to his hive once back on Alternia, quite a few sweeps ago. You remember it being a mess, with clothes and horns and bottles of Faygo strewn every which way, but not much else beside that. At least this place seemed cleaner, except… was that…? Yes, you could smell it now. The heady scents of spice and sweetness, of mint, of blueberry and honey and olives… The smell of it mixed together until you could almost taste it, and you were certain. There was blood somewhere in this hive, and a lot of it. But why? Your jaws ached as the thirst returned again, and you took a deep breath to steady yourself.<p>

= = =  
>You worry about her condition and go to grab her the only blanket you had handy: the one off your bed. You carry it back to the couch and wrap it around her gently. You tended to keep your hive fairly clean in your saner moments, except the blood on the walls. You go get her a glass of strawberry lemonade - something you'd picked up drinking a sweep or so ago. You set it down within her reach and sit down on the floor beside the couch, ignoring the chair that was comfortably close.<br>So WhAt HaPpEnEd KaNaYa?

= = =  
>You fix your gaze on the glass of lemonade, not replying. You shift just a bit, drawing the blankets closer in order to bury your face into them. You didn't want to face it, that sooner or later you'd have to tell him the full extent of your little 'condition'… The blanket felt warm and seemed like fleece, smelling of him and that blasted scent… You draw a deep breath, taking it in, and sigh. At least that much has roused you enough that you should be able to sit up. You don't meet his attentive gaze as you do so, letting your gaze flicker to somewhere different, anywhere, just so you won't have to answer to amethyst eyes that see too much.<p>

You note that she seems to be uncomfortable telling you. You're not sure just what that means. Were you to blame somehow? You kept your eyes on her, but you didn't notice that she was breathing in your scent. You're too worried about her condition to see things like that. She sits up, and you don't stop her, though you still worry. So, you prod in a soft voice.  
>KaNaYa, WhAt HaPpEnEd To YoU? i WoN't JuDgE yOu, BuT i NeEd To KnOw So I cAn Be Of HeLp. Is It…DiD i Do ThIs To YoU bAcK tHeN?<p>

= = =  
>"That Isn't It." You begin, shaking your head. "I Mean…"<br>God, how were you supposed to explain? That when he… did that… you died, yes, but you came back wrong. There wasn't a way for your lips to form the coherent words, so instead, you tried something different. You lifted up your sleeve, and the pale of your skin flickered faintly, like the screen of a computer monitor.  
>"Haven't You Noticed That My Skin Doesn't Look The Way That It's Supposed To?" Your fingers were trembling as you tugged the sleeve of your shirt back down. You didn't want the silence to linger, so you opened your jaws wide, exposing your fangs. "Don't You Wonder What I Use These For?" You throw off the blanket and kneel next to him on the floor. "I'll Give You A Hint."<br>It's then that you let every pretense of holding back go. You needed this, and he needed to understand. Your wrap your arms around him, but it's less like an embrace and more like an iron grip as you bury your face into the crook of his neck. You don't even notice if he struggles or not, and honestly, you wouldn't care if he tried hurting you because your lips were brushing his skin, finding his pulse, and oh, you were so close to tasting that indigo hue…  
>But somehow, you stop. You hesitate. You think.<br>You are Kanaya Maryam, and you do not want to be a monster. And you would never want him to think you a monster. Not ever.  
>You draw away from him with a pained sigh, and dear God, you were close to tears…<br>"A Beast Is What I Am. Nothing More." You finally say it, and you break because of it.


	3. Chapter 3

You are stunned into silence. Whatever you had been expected wasn't this. Rainbow drinkers were myths, but here she was. And you had done this to her. Her skin alone would have been enough, but she showed you her fangs as well. That's what brought it home, made what she was real to you. You don't move as she clings to you and presses into your neck. Then she stops and pulls away. She sounds so wrong like that. You reach out and pull her back against you, settling her into you lap so that she could reach your neck or cry against you. There's more pity here for her than you could ever remember wanting to feel - or ever feeling.

KaNaYa, YoU'rE nO mOnStEr. YoU'rE sTiLl KaNaYa MaRyAm, My LeAdEr AnD tRoLl I rEsPeCt.

You offer comfort and shelter to weather the storm of her emotions. You don't even hesitate. What you said was spoken in a tone that was deadly serious. You know that it's important that she hear it, that she believe it. You offer the one thing she won't take from you by force, though she could.

It'S oKaY iF yOu WaNt To BiTe Me. I'm NoT sUrE hOw ThIs BlOoD dRiNkInG tHiNg WoRkS, bUt I'm HeRe If YoU nEeD m- It.

You grit your teeth and let out a sob as the tears come unbidden, try as you might to hold them back. When he pulls you back into his lap, you don't resist, and without thinking, you're clutching at him like he's the last thing you have to hold onto. Your display is shameful, you know that, and it sends a quick jolt of self-loathing through you before you're once again just swept up in the raw emotion of it. This was one person that never looked upon you with anger or disgust, and even now that he'd learned what it was you'd become, he still treated you as if you were as fragile as glass. Which, if you were being truthful with yourself, you really were at this moment. His words were so kind, that ordinarily, you would not have believed they were true. But hearing the utter conviction in his voice changed that.

"I'm Sorry… I'm So Sorry…" Sorry for not telling him sooner. Sorry for becoming this damned creature in the first place. Sorry for feeling the aching need to steal from him what you needed to survive. Sorry for being so weak. Sorry for showing such weakness. There were so many things you had to apologize for, so which one did you mean? You weren't even sure you know.

Until he said that. Did he even realize what he was offering?

You reach up and let your hands rest on his shoulders, searching his gaze seriously.

You were starting to think that she hadn't heard you. You had just said what you meant, but maybe she mistook it and was searching for a way to get out of it? You just held her while she cried and apologized, and just let it all out in general. You'd never seen your strong leader break down like this, and it terrified you even as it filled you with pity - and wonder. Wonder at the fact that she allowed you the liberty to comfort her in this moment of weakness. That she still trusted you this much even after you killed her. You look her dead in the eyes as her hands rested on your shoulders. The look that passed between you two was more intense and serious than even the one that you had shared as you killed her. You try to tell her without words that you meant everything you said, that you accepted her as she was - accepted what she needed. You don't trust your voice with something this important - you'd only screw it up like you always did. So you meet her eyes and pray that she can understand you - that she can find what it is she's searching for.

You have to physically tear yourself away from his gaze, from his eyes that saw too much and knew too much and said everything without really saying anything at all. There is, in fact, a lot of not-saying between the two of you. Opened eyes and understanding fingertips resting upon tensed shoulder blades. It was frightening you, how your carefully constructed calm and controlled exterior was being shattered without even a pause for thought. You feel a sort of loathsome pity for the wretched thing that hid behind the broken pieces of your shell, but now you had no way of hiding it even if you wanted to.

Kanaya Maryam may not be a monster in the eyes of her friend, but she is weak. She is a coward. You are a coward. You can't help wanting to hold onto him, wanting to be taken care of for once in your detestable life, and the thing was, he would provide that without a second thought. It's just how your Gamzee was, and how he'd been since you've known him, even past the instability and the calling of a "Subjuggulator" Offering his blood and his comfort to someone who certainly didn't deserve it, it was both surprising and completely typical of him.

"You Really Have Been Alone For Far Too Long." You observe, finally breaking the silence that loomed above your heads. "I Think You've Gone Mad, Playing The Sole Comforter Of A Rainbow-Drinker."

In truth, it wasn't just him at all. Sometimes when you were all alone in your home, you knew, just knew somehow, that there will never be anything better than this existence you had going for you, and it was a pity so deeply intense and resonant that it seemed to encompass everything, it expands out and touched the edges of the sky and the lonely moon and somehow, in some way, it touched you too. You didn't know it was possible to pity oneself. You're slowly realizing it, that you never knew anything at all, so you make it up as you go along and don't bother pretending it matters if you get it right or not.

You're afraid that she's rejecting your offer outright when she pulls away from the gaze. Then she speaks, and you can't help but smile. She was right, far more so than she'd ever guess. You were no saner now than you were when you killed her and the others, than when you first came off the sopor - you're just more in control now. You pull her in for a hug and kiss the top of her head.

YoU hAvE nO iDeA, bUt WhAt I sAiD sTiLl HoLdS. i'M vErY sErIoUs AbOuT tHiS.

You're grateful for her presence, regardless of what capacity you stand in her regard. You're also grateful that those hateful, haunting voices are so quiet for once. You can focus on helping Kanaya without having to fight yourself every step of the way. You don't know what's going on in her mind, but you know that you want to be there for her. You respect her - such a rare thing - as much as you pity her. You pity her for what she's become, what she was, what she will be, and what you'd done to her. But you don't let that show; it's too intense for what was happening, and you don't really understand it yourself.

Something about his embrace, his little kiss, his words, and all the comfort he brings stirs something in you, a certain feeling of contentment. It was a genuine spark of simple happiness from being near him. But were these feelings leaning toward simple friendship, in a completely platonic way, or were they growing more and more flushed...? You didn't even want to examine that part of your emotions right now, not just yet. Even though you thought you'd long buried the instinct, old habits died hard. You don't know exactly what he's been through in the time that he was alone for so long, but you get the feeling that whatever it was must have been destroying him, even before the start of that blasted game. And despite all of it, he was still doing all he could to keep you safe from any self-destructive thoughts. You don't want to completely refuse the help he offered, and yet... The thought of taking advantage of his kindness just to suit yourself made you sick. So instead, you return his embrace, holding him closer and resting your cheek on his shoulder. Without thinking, your lips brush against the skin of his neck with a feather-light touch, and you can just barely catch the scent of him again, before you jolt back with a healthy dose of surprise, breaking his hold on you. Your hand goes to your mouth as you stammer an apology.

"Forgive Me, I'm Really... So Sorry About That."

You're almost sure that she'll take you up on your offer, at least partially. She's holding onto you again, and she even has her face against your neck again, but then she practically jumps out of your arms and away from you. Then she apologizes, of all things. You're not sure what she's thinking - no even remote guesses.

KaNaYa, ChIlL. wE'rE sTiLl CoOl. YoUr WeAk StAtE, iS iT bEcAuSe YoU nEeD bLoOd?

You're more than willing to let her bite you, or open a vein for her - or whatever it is she needed to become strong and comfortable again. You have the feeling that she'll continue to be horrified by what she is, so all you can do is accept her - and help her as much as she'll allow.

You have suddenly become very interested in the state of your fingernails, not replying right away. As much as you were loathe to admit it, he was spot on, and it was like a stinging blow to the ego. You bring a hand to your lips and bite down on your index finger, drawing a small amount of blood.

The thought brings back a rather mundane memory of your first few days after arriving on this planet. The landscape was strange, and you had to give your own names to the plants and animals that inhabited it, until you picked up enough on the English language to find them for yourself. There was one plant that you had never seen before, but that you had adored looking at. Its petals were a creamy pink color, swirling in on themselves to create its shape. You knelt down and reached to pick it up before drawing back in an instant with a wounded hand for your trouble. A drop of dark green blood fell onto one of its petals, and it gave you quite a shock. When you had examined it more closely, you found thorns on its stem, ready to cause pain to anything that wasn't careful enough (yourself included.) You marveled at such a pretty, dainty-looking thing having such defenses to protect itself. You gave it a name in Alternian, meaning "Warrior" and it was quite some time before you found its name in English; a rose. Though you didn't let go of your original nickname of it, you thought the real name of it was still quite a good one.

It takes you a moment to realize that you've been lost in your own head. When you finally do look up to him, you hold out your hand for inspection.

"Even If I Need Such A Thing As Blood, I Would Rather Stay Weak Than Use You To Keep Myself Strong."

You watch her curiously. She draws her own blood, but then she seems to just drift. You wonder where her mind has gone, for her to get that distance look in her eyes. You move closer, not that she notices. Once she returns from where ever she had just gone in her head, she holds out her hand to you. You cradle it gently and lick away the blood she'd drawn. Normally you stay away from blood in your saner moments, but this felt right to you. Despite the fact that she was still fighting against you.

I'vE tAkEn YoUr BlOoD. YoU mUsT dO tHe SaMe Or Be A bAd GuEsT.

You're not sure this ploy will work. If it doesn't then you'll have to come up with something else. You would wear her down and win eventually. You're not bothered in the slightest that the prize you were fighting for was giving her your blood. She needed it, and you didn't want to see her so weak. It was perfectly logical to you.

Somehow, when he takes your hand in his and licks the jade green blood away just like that, you didn't expect any other reaction. It was as if you were both playing your parts in a script, a comedic tragedy orchestrated by paradox space to get every sappy cliche under the guise of romance out into the open. It was just that it didn't feel like a cliche. It simply felt like the most natural thing to happen, and you were glad for it. His words of courtesy draw your lips into an exasperated smile. He really was persistent, wasn't he...? Alright then. You'd bite (so to speak.)

You draw your hand back, but only for just a moment before placing it under his chin and tilting his head up. You move until you're nearly in his lap again, keeping one hand under his chin and the other resting on his shoulder. You lean in close and can almost hear the beat of a pulse beneath his skin. Your lips brush along his neck and his jaw until they rest very close to his ear. You keep your voice to an almost inaudible whisper.

"Consider Me An Excellent Guest Then."

Without waiting for a reply, your grip on him tightens just a bit as you open your jaws wide and bite down into the skin that gave you what you needed.


End file.
